r_scribbles: (London Cowboy)
[personal profile] r_scribbles
Hello again! And even though I'm still probably too busy to be writing fanfic, the latest Cabin Pressure was just so smashing that it grabbed me & I did a little fill for the anon meme.

Before I cut to that, my general air of business is down to the fact that Newsjack is back next week and BBC Radio 4 are also doing a non topical sketch show for unsolicited writers so I've been doing a few bits to submit for that. I really recommend to anybody looking to get into comedy writing to submit to either or both. Here's the link to info on Newsjack and here's the info on The Show What You Wrote if you're interested.

Also I have a plug in that some of my material's going to be in Newsjack Revisited on Radio 4 next Wednesday at 11 so that I can listen through the BITTER BITTER TEARS that I am expecting after next week's Cabin Pressure. One of my sketches is the featured clip on the web page too, which is nice.

Right! On to the fic. It's short and sexy, it's M/T - my new best ship - and has spoilers for Xinzhou.


The darkened room. The shift of fabric. Heavy breaths, quiet kisses. Whispers.

‘Sorry about this. Again.’

‘Sshh. Stop apologising! Why are you apologising?’

‘It’s just… it’s not exactly the Paris Hilton.’

‘It is Paris. Good enough.’

‘And I’m sorry Carolyn made you fork out for a ticket – I mean, it’s a cargo flight, we were coming here anyway!’

‘I can afford it. Now, please be quiet.’

More kisses. Quiet kisses. A cough, from another room.

‘Her comment about the extra weight’, comes the whisper again. ‘I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that.’

‘It’s fine. It’s an experience! A Princess never usually gets to see this side of Paris.’

‘No. I imagine not.’

‘I like it. There’s some other new sides of things I’d like to see tonight, as well.’


‘Now. Are you going to stop apologising?’

‘…Oh! Oh. Oh, God.’

The creak of the bed. A giggle.

‘Yes,’ comes the female whisper. ‘Yes, like that. Oh. Oh, Martin.’

‘Fizz,’ whispers the male voice.

A louder giggle. ‘What?’

‘Sorry. A game Arthur came up with, when we were stuck in China. We’ve been playing it for weeks, now. I think I’ve sort-of got conditioned to it.’

‘Oh.’ The whisper lowers. ‘Well, you know how much I like games, Martin.’

‘Fizz. And… and, now you have to say “Buzz”. Or, you would if we were playing right now, but that’s a bit…’

‘A bit what?’

‘Well, you know. Not while I’m. You know. Not while the Boeing’s inside the hangar, that’s a bit… weird.’

‘It will be funny!’

‘Sex isn’t supposed to be funny, Theresa.’



‘And with you, it is.’

‘Well, thank you very much.’

‘In a good way! It’s fun! You’re fun. Wait – can I just turn you around? My leg is getting a cramp.’

More shuffling in the dark. In the room upstairs, somebody walks to the bathroom, heavily.

More kisses. More quiet, appreciative sighs.

‘Yes. Yes, like that.’ The female voice raises a little. ‘Slower. Slower. Yes. Oh. Yes, Martin.’



‘Ave a banana,’ sings a cheerful voice from the room next door.


‘Fizz!’ chimes the voice next door.

‘Buzz!’ calls a voice from the room the opposite side.

‘Ave a banana!’ sings the first neighbour.




‘Ave a banana!’ comes an old woman’s voice.

‘Carolyn, you…’



‘Ave a banana!’

‘’You’re not even supposed to be on this floor!’

‘Hotel messed the booking up, I’m sharing with Arthur.’



‘Ave a bananaaAAAAHHHH! Aah! Oooh.’

‘Wait – what exactly are we listening to here…?’

‘That was nice.’

‘What are you doing in there, Martin?’

But Martin only answers ‘Fizz’.

November 2013

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