r_scribbles: (Thundercats Cheetara)
A while ago, I annoyed a friend by making a sweeping statement with regards to my perception of the general intelligence levels of Youtube users. Like the vast majority of my sweeping statements, it was meant largely in jest. Youtube’s become a part of online life – I use it myself, many times a day, for clips & cartoons to amuse the wee ones and for when I want to share or listen to a song once Spotify’s decided that I’ve had my allocated 9 minutes of music and can never be allowed any more, ever.

Therefore, I retract the comment, made as a reaction to The Only Way Is Essex being awarded the Youtube ZOMG best show ever lol!!!! Bafta (my expression was much the same as Martin Freeman’s)

and offer the following, revised sweeping statement: Between 70- 90% of Youtube comments cheerfully exhibit such a dearth of intelligence, humour, originality, imagination and basic literacy that it makes me wish the internet would become self-aware, read itself and then duly destroy the world in disgust.

Obviously, I could say this of pretty much any much-used site where we troglodytes are encouraged to tell the universe what we reckon – Facebook, Have Your Fucking Say, Comment Is Cunting Free, even my darling shiny, shiny Twitter. My own timeline on twitter is filled with nice or funny people (sometimes even both) tweeting clever, amusing stuff, links that have yet to get tired out, puns that have yet to be ripped off by Cheggers, comments on the news, films or literature, interesting political arguments and so on and so forth. But I am aware that this is only because I’m an elitist twat on twitter and fill my timeline only with people who are going to dance for me, dance like the merry jesters that they are. A quick glance at the Trending Topics list gives a horrible glimpse of the misogynistic, irony-free, mouth-frothing, bieber-bothering dimwittery outside my liberal comedy snob bubble. You always know if there’s been a disaster elsewhere in the world if you go onto Twitter and see a hashtag telling you to pray for somewhere. Calls for rather more practical help tend not to make it into the top 10 trends, especially if Justin Bieber’s just done something/said something/has a lovely smile, or if everybody’s replacing words in film titles (usually the same words in the same 3 Harry Potter films titles) with the word ‘bacon’. With Hilarious Consequences. My favourite Trending Topic phenomenon is the ‘OMG why is this trending?’ Loop, when something obscure or in poor taste trends for a bit, so instead of looking it up if they don’t understand or ignoring/quietly snarking if they don’t approve, twits in their hundreds tweet either ‘LOL “Obscure Thing” is trending! WTF?!?’ or ‘OMG I can’t believe “Offensive Thing” is trending! That’s so offensive!!!’ so, the thing rises up and up the trending topics, and then stays there, held aloft by people tweeting that either they don’t understand what it is or that they didn’t want to see it trend in the first place. Genius.

Getting back to the Youtubes. What’s sparked my most recent despair in the keyboard mashings of the people who like to watch clips with their eyes, form one or more opinion that may or may not have something to do with what they’ve seen and then let everybody else wanting to watch the clip know what it is that they reckon about this thing, is my recent jaunt down the Memory Lane branch of the Information Superhighway.

And, to be fair, Youtube is brilliant for that. Pretty much every thing that you might remember is on Youtube, now. You don’t need a long term memory for telly stuff at all now that we’ve got it. Youtube might also be why we don’t really have nostalgia countdown shows any more. Thank fuck. We can just get in to the Youtube Link Loop going ‘coo, remember that?’ to yourself without Justin Lee Collins barking ‘remember that, eh? Remember the thing? The thing that was on the telly? Remember that happening?’ at you every five minutes.

Because we don’t need Justin Lee Collins to go ‘remember the thing? I remember the thing’ at us now – we have our fellow Youtube users. I mean – I imagine that for somebody to search Samurai Pizza Cats, say, they have to remember the cartoon at least a little (or as in my case yesterday, have the theme tune stuck in my head with ‘Benedict Cumberbatch’ sung over the name of the titular feline heroes for no apparent reason) so I don’t quite see the need that every other commenter on an old tv show clip feels to tell us that they too remember it. I wouldn’t mind so much, but it’s always bloody there, on anything more than a year or two old, over and over and over again. ‘lol I remember this’. It’s not the obviousness of the statement that gets me down quite as much as the repetitiveness.

Because, you see, there’s only ever 5 comment types on any nostalgic clip.

1, lol I remember this. Possibly followed by I remember watching it back in [insert decade here] or I am now [insert age here] To which, my Inner Spock quirks an eyebrow and responds with a deadpan ‘fascinating’.

2, BRING THIS BACK! - No need. It’s on Youtube, or possibly even DVD if you’re lucky. Let’s face it, you’d only complain if it got remade.

3, This is so much better than the crap they make for kids these days No it isn’t. There was some great stuff when I was a kid, and some real shit as well. My kids get sheer brilliance like Shaun the Sheep and Octonauts as well as bollocks like Grandpa in the Pocket (which they’re not allowed to watch because it creeps me out). If you think all kid’s TV these days is rubbish, either you don’t have kids or you only put on bollocks telly for them, and what kind of parent does that make you, eh? EH?!?!?

4, lol WTF is this?!? Read the info, douchecanoe – or at the very least, the title. Unless you’re such an exhibitionist that you feel the need to tell everybody that you don’t instantly recognise something you’ve apparently clicked on as an automatic reflex, apparently can’t read and certainly can’t use Google to find out what ‘the fuck’ this, in fact, is. Sorry, that was silly of me. Please, do go on to BBC HYS, wait for the obituary of a notable figure that you don’t recognise straight away and rush to be the first to comment with ‘Who?’

5, lol their on drugs!!!!! This is a must, especially for any pre-school show, retro or modern, anything with bright colours, anything carefully aimed at entertaining babies (especially by the brilliant Anne & Chris Wood), anything with props or involving falling over, anything with songs, anything with West Indian accents, because all Jamaicans are on drugs, basically anything that involves any level of whimsy. The only possible explanation for any of it is – not that these programmes are/were made by people who understand how to delight small children, but that they were all on drugs. All the time. I mean, stuff like stop motion is obviously a piece of piss when you’re off your tits on acid, isn’t it? As is dancing and interacting with your environment while in a massive padded costume that you can’t see out of. They’re obviously on drugs. That, or the commenter wants to show how counter-culture and edgy they are by announcing that ‘lol there on drugz!!’, which would be rather more impressive had somebody else not done exactly the same thing a few comments before. And three other people on a different clip. And four other people on a further clip. And so on.

As you can see, it’s not the fact that these comments are generally poppycock that grates so much as the repetitiveness of the same old poppycock. Let’s try to resolve this. I’d like to see people take the time to post their thoughts in haiku or limerick form, just to break up the monotony a bit. Come on, it’ll be fun!

In The Night Garden:
Not as good as Dangermouse.
Their all on drugs lol.
r_scribbles: (false teeth)
It's called 1996 And All That - it's the soundtrack to my later teens. Lots and lots of Britpop, a few Old Skool dance tracks thrown in. Enjoy.

r_scribbles: (Futurama - Big Brain)
While I'm on a nostalgia kick...

I used to love this at Uni. I had a tape of the RSC's radio show that I borrowed off my housemate. I can still recite this rap pretty much word for word.

r_scribbles: (Singin in the Rain)
This is brilliant.

Thanks to Missy C for the link. Big old lesbian, mMrmitey kisses coming your way, petal!
r_scribbles: (Thundercats Snarf)
Conversation with Mrs P made me want to search this bad boy out...

Aaahhh, Saturday mornings!
r_scribbles: (Fry & Leela)
Vi-Vi seems to be over whatever was ailing her! She was drinking more and more juice throughout the afternoon, then had a proper tea and enjoyed a cup of milk at storytime. A weight off my mind, although I still really want to avoid the same thing happening on our Wales trip.

Thanks to all of you who posted Cheering Youtube Clips. I shall respond with the song I've been singing every time I've seen articles about Barbie turning 50 today.

I remember this video from when I was a kid, BTW. The 'does anybody know where the toilets are' bit cracked me and my little sister up, because we didn't usually hear people talking about going to the toilet on the telly, least of all in the middle of a song.
r_scribbles: (TNG Gravity)
Just watched Hollow Pursuits. It. Was. Awesome. Another one to add to my rapidly growing list of favourites. Done some icons. Unfortunately I wasn't able to do one that did justice to Picard's 'Good work, Lt. Broccoli' face, which is a pity since that scene very nearly caused me to spit muesli all over the carpet.
Broccoli, and Satsumas, and Dandies, oh my! )
r_scribbles: (Princey)
Eee! Soul Calibur IV is out today!


In celebration of this, and prompted by Bibsy's post about the humble N64, I thought I might regale you with a post about the Games Of My Youth - the 'youth' in question being largely the University years, and those that followed shortly after.
nostalgia ahoy )
r_scribbles: (My lovely horse)
It is July - still a good week away from August. How comes it, then, that a traipse around the high street found a grand total of one pair of girl's size 5 sandals, and they were very expensive and really, really ugly? Couldn't bring myself to buy them, even though the nice Clark's man had done the measuring - they really were horrible and it's too hot for Autumn shoes. Bought a little pair of Converse style ballet pumps as Madam's summer shoes instead. £3.50 in the Next Sale! Woo!

I then proceeded to attempt M&S for sandals and ended up having a brain fail of much magnitude. There is one lift in M&S. I've used it several times before. It very clearly tells you what floor you're on. I had to go from the 2nd floor to the ground floor to get out. I get in the lift and press the ground floor level. Lift goes down. I put headphones in. Lift stops, two old dears get in, I get out, walk around in the direction of the exit. I suddenly realise I am amongst not the food hall of the ground floor, but the big knickers of the 1st. Cursing my stupidity, I turn around and call the lift again. There are already two people it it when it arrives, going to the 2nd floor. I ride with them to the 2nd floor, they get off, I hit the 'ground floor' button again and chat to Vi about getting it right this time. Lift goes down. Lift stops. Doors open, no one in waiting to get in. Still chatting to Vi, I walk out, take a few steps out and only realise I'm back on the fucking 1st floor again once the lift has gone again. At this point I'm positive that I'm being toyed with, like a character in a psychadelic 60s drama, or a tripping-out Daffy Duck. This isn't what is actually happening. What is actually happening is that I'm an idiot. I turn around and call the lift yet again, only to find it going up to the 2nd floor for a third time. Somebody gets on and wants to go to... yeah! The first floor! Woo! I am so very sick of the first floor by now, and it worries me that it took quite so much concentration on my part not to get off there yet another time, but to stay on instead to reach the fabled Ground Floor. Took about ten minutes to get out of a bloody shop. Eejit.

And then in Sainsburys I managed to get stuck behind a woman who insisted on packing her own shopping bags, which she did at the speed. Of. Mantle. And then realised she had to pay, which she did just as slowly, then stood for a while staring at her receipt while I rolled my eyes, Passive Aggressively.

Beautiful day today, though! I nearly made myself pass out blowing up Vi's paddling pool this afternoon and she had a good old splish about in the garden.

I suddenly had a weird flashback this evening, remembering Fun Filofaxes. I do believe that I had one. Why? Why the fuck did a little kid have a filofax, with pages full of useful information like Canadian National Holidays, the British Monarchs since William the Conquerer and a map of the London Underground? I have an abiding memory of Blue Peter teaching us how to make one out of flocked wallpaper or some Godawful 80s shit pretty much every week. Seriously - can anyone explain to me why we were supposed to all find these so very invaluable? Or were we all just emulating the contemptable honking adults who carried one, in which case I might have to invent a time machine, go back to the late 80s and give my 9-year-old self a smack.

EDIT - that's a good emoticon of Eric for 'Hot'! Look at that Bicep! Aah, the artists liked to spoil us ladies every once in a blue moon...
r_scribbles: (Rimmer - not crazy)
Babe is still Under The Weather. I suspect new teeth, although I haven't been able to feel any yet. That or a cold, since she's very chesty today.

Ye Gods, they really should put an upper age limit on the Playgym! It was rammed today, with lots of kids who were much too old for it since it's 1/2 Term. Not talking Old Old, but 5, 6 & 7 year olds trying to play with equipment set up for toddlers and understandably getting bored and just pegging it around. Not the best idea when there's loads of crawling and wobbly-walking babies about. The Bully was there too. The Bully (and his Mum) piss the crap out of me. No idea what his name is, but he's about two and he's a proper little thug, and on the very rare occasions that his mum is actually within sight of him when he starts being aggressive towards littler kids she still doesn't intervene. I *should* know this kid's name, because he's always at S&S and playgym being a thug, so I *should* hear cries of "Insert-name-here, stop doing that", "play gently, Whatisyourname" and so forth every couple of seconds. I've seen this kid trip other kids up, snatch what they're playing with, push them, hit them, reduce them to crying fits and Mum does absolutely fuck all. Just waits for the bullied kid's parents to remove them from the situation. I've had to tell him off for trying to hit Vivi in the past, which mortified me, but his Mum was nowhere in sight at the time. Anyway, Vi was having a whale of a time running around with a shuttlecock in each hand this morning, the bully decided he was going to snatch them but Vi, bless her to smithereens, thought it was a game! She can properly run now - outrun him, anyway, so she'd wander close to him, staring at him, he'd try to grab her shuttlecocks, she'd turn around and peg it away from him, he'd give up then she'd go back. It. Was. Brilliant.

It's Friday, thank Crunchie, so a chilled night with some pear cider for me (they sell it in 4-pack cans these days! JOY!)

Oh, and Hubs very kindly emailed a screencap from our childhoods that gave us both the fear summat rotten. Anybody remember a character called Noseybonk on Take Hart/Hartbeat?

Absolutely knicker-shitting fucking terrifying. He looks like a Droog. I can picture him battering a woman to death with a dildo while humming 'Ode To Joy' to himself. All that Art loving kids these days have to put up with is their televisual heroes scooting off to hang themselves in train stations. We had Neil Buchanan's mullet and this crap to contend with! It's a wonder we're not all completely warped.
r_scribbles: (The Actor Kevin Eldon)
Oh dear God! An old college friend has put a photo up on faceachebook of me at the legendary Rock City back in 97 (or 98, I'm not quite sure). Here's 17-year-old me - I have absolutely no idea who those people are I'm with!

Please note: real men's army trousers from an Army Surplus Store, with wallet shoved in leg pocket creating attractive bulge. This, in addition to my Biker Dyke 'inferno' Going Out Top, short hair and evident lack of make-up (I would have worn some going out - it must be the end of the night and I've drank and sweated it all off) creates, shall we say, a rather Masculine look. I'm trying to tell myself that it was simply that androgyny was very fashionable during the mid-late 90s Indie scene, and not just that I used to go out every weekend looking like a bit of a lesbian.
r_scribbles: (unconventional honey)
...or words to that effect.
I have been abandonned this evening, Hubs has gone up to Smokey to watch a BAFTA preview screening of a fillum about Football Hooligans with his buddy, leaving me literally Holding The Baby.

Except that I'm not.

She nodded off properly at about half past the ten with me cuddling her as usual, and since there is no early-night-needing Hubby already in bed at this time I am introducing myself to a very odd new concept: Putting the baby down to sleep in her cot in the bedroom, unattended. Can't say I'm entirely comfortable with it, but she'll have to start going to bed alone before us at some point. All the doors are open and the house silent so I can hear if she cries, but still it feels rather odd.

Did my usual 'Husband away' thang - ie re-watching stuff that he's sick of - usually involving The Depp. Watched Sleepy Sleepy Hollow tonight... I do love Ichabod Crane. Another black of hair, brown of eye redeemed coward and social pariah. *Dreamy sigh*. Then decided to watch the glorious 'making of' footage on the Press gang DVD, which I haven't seen in ages. Cue lots of a very young La Reynolds grinning at the camera, improvising nonsense and generally seeking attention instead of saying anything sensible about the show whatsoever. *Another dreamy sigh*.

Also discovered how difficult it is to give a squiggly baby a bath when you don't have a second pair of hands to call upon and made Vi chuckle by singing 'For she's a silly old Mummy' to the tune of 'For he's a jolly good fellow' while changing her. Oh, and bought some classic mid 90s choons off Do You Like My Tight Sweater? by Moloko... yet another of my many teenaged posessions which went missing when my parents split. 'I dreamt that the Bogeyman went down on Mr Spock' and so on.
r_scribbles: (Childhood)
Look what I found - it's the Stonk! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVIoCahD7yw

the video quality's really bad, you can't really tell who anybody is apart from a very embarrassed looking Mary Whitehouse Experience and Mr Bean, but still, this really takes me back to a more innocent time when kids records were kids records, damnit!
r_scribbles: (Default)
1st anniversary today! One whole year as a Wiffie! Went through wedding piccies today in the interest of Nostalgia. Aaah, what a lovely day we all had. We do have some lovely pictures from the tables - pissed mates & relatives in their Glad Rags playing with the table decorations (feathers - never has such a cheap accessory caused so much merriment!)

Anniversary dinner tonight (Marlowe's - same place as we had our 1st date... aaahh...) Hubby and I decided to write That Feature Film together (you know - the one that's going to make us all rich & famous). This is about the 10th time we've decided to Write That Feature Film Together. We never get past what we're going to write it about. Oh well, it's worth a try.

Beautiful day today - spent much of it watching the fishies in Westgate Gardens. Also, had a really tasty cocktail - Vodka, Cointreau, Kahula & blended icecream. Mmmm!

November 2013

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