Jun. 16th, 2007 11:02 pm
r_scribbles: (Thundercats Cheetara)
Get up at Quarter to six.

Ready self and babe.

Drive to, and through London to Kensington Olympia.

Spend a 9 to 5 day at The Allergy Show, looking after babe and greeting my old clients as Hubs does the show video.

Discover that the only baby changing facilities are in a disabled toilet so small there isn't actually room for you, the baby and the buggy.

Also discover that baby hates being on the changing tray so much that she screams herself into a terrible state.

Be grateful she only does wees all day.

Wonder why, even though baby is in a pink TShirt and jeans with butterflies embroidered on them, the blue socks she's wearing seem to make everyone think she's a boy.

Navigate way out of London.

Discover London is comprimised of badly planned, one way streets and popluated by cunts who drive like... well, like cunts.

Stop at Medway services because baby is screaming.

Sit in back seat, bottle feeding carseated baby as husband drives rest of way home.

Feed baby banana, wash baby, get baby in pyjamas.

Husband brings Chinese. Good husband.

Baby does biggest poo ever witnessed. Nappy cannot withstand it. Complete change of clothes and bath are needed.

Too tired to write.

Decided to watch Little Mermaid (or at least a part thereof).

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Dear Scary Drunk Man,

So you're drunk. I've been drunk many a time myself, but never so much that I haven't been able to comprehend that if you're a man, walking slowly in front of and past a woman trying to park her car after dark, staring in her windows, then standing just at the corner watching her is INCREDIBLY INTIMIDATING. And yes, I *could* see you standing there, I have these things called wing mirrors. That's why I wasn't switching off the engine or getting out. You weren't to know that I'm 9 months pregnant and was once attacked by somebody who started off standing at a corner staring at me in exactly the same way and thus was even more intimidated by your actions than I would have been otherwise. For some reason, that was the moment that the squad car turned up. Not sure whether it's just the police being very groovy (we had a visit from a Community Officer yesterday who said that they'd be patrolling around the area more over the Chrimbo season) or whether you'd been behaving that way to someone else and they'd called them. I find the facts that:
a, you slung your hook pretty fast when they showed up
b, they stopped, turned around and followed you
more than a little disturbing. You horrible man.

So even though I went to ADSA to do the bulk of the Christmas shop in the evening, it was still pretty nightmarish. Forgot the bleedin chicken too. D'oh! Also went to the paper to say 'Hi' since Old Boss had asked me to write a Christmas Play for them again. Did Wizard of Oz, and they did me proud - twas as bewildering and multicoloured as the Christmas Plays ever were.

My lower back and legs ache today. Hmm. A sign? Have decided to add The Actor Kevin Eldon to my interests list as he is a God Amongst Insects.


Dec. 12th, 2006 02:20 pm
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Well then - that's it. Done. I am now on Maternity leave (or is it that I'm now redundant but still getting paid? Not entirely sure how this thing technically works). Boss bought me a lovely posh farewell lunch of wild mushroom risotto and fruity bread & butter pud from the swanky GastroPub (MMMMmmmm!!! And glad I wasn't paying because it was proper pricey), we talked Atheism, Homeopathy and Cinema and then I collected my various bits & bobs and off I went.

What to do... what to do... will be extremely strange not working, I'm so used to it. At least for the weeks before Tuppence arrives anyway. Hopefully this Nesting Instinct I'm meant to get will kick in and I'll make myself useful sorting the house out.

In unrelated news, Miss C for some reason my email to you yesterday has been bounced back to me.

Also, if there's anything more joyful than driving around with the full Dr Who theme tune on full blast I'd like to know what it is.
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To quote Edmund Blackadder: 'I believe the phrase rhymes with "Clucking Bell".'
Yes folks, the crappity continues. The first lame part of yesterday (which resulted in me being covered in plasters) was my Diabetes Test which I found out this afternoon I have failed with flying colours - so, yet more blood tests tomorrow (have I mentioned my terrible phobia of having my blood taken, by the way? It's three-fold - I hate limb constriction, even for blood pressure tests, so I panic as soon as the torniquet goes on, I don't like needles in general and I also hate veins so the feeling of the needle going in, blood being drawn and the needle coming out again freaks me out no end... unless a Path Lab nurse is doing it it tends to result in my hyperventillating, crying and/or nearly passing out. Joy!) and a further restricted diet at best, possibility of lifelong Diabetes and problems for the babe at worst. Very despondant and angry with myself since there is no history of The Big D in my family - if I do have fully fledged Gestational Diabetes now I only have myself and my weight to blame.

Right, that bit of self pity over I may as well tell you that this will be a longer and more Everyday post than usual since I will be copying it onto once I'm done. They want as many British bloggers as possible to record 'This Day In History', so my fellow British LJ Chums might want to get involved too.

Unfortunately, besides my Joyous news, not much has happened today. Much happened yesterday, which I still can't be bothered to go into, but in a nutshell I had my Diabetes test in the morning and went to the CAM Expo in London for work in the afternoon.
The list of annoyances goes thus:
Due to staff shortage at the KCC Birthing Unit and every heavily pregnant woman in the Canterbury area deciding to go into labour that day, waited an hour for first bit of test, listening to women scream and plead for an end to their agony, while thinking 'Only 3 months now and that'll be me!'
Panicked and nearly fainted at 1st lot of blood tests.
Waited another 2 1/2 hours for second bit of test.
Panicked again at 2nd lot of tests. The vein in the crook of my elbow had to be abandonned and they took it from my hand, which hurt.
Discovered far wing mirror was falling off - it eventually came off and swung around its wire on the A2 up to Smokey. Spent entire journey worrying that it would swing too heavily on the window and smash it.
EcXel was too hot and full of teenage girls (there was also a huge Hairdressing show on at the same time - it was like walking through TopShop on a Saturday) and their Car Park was very, very annoying. Cue much wandering around looking for a payment machine that worked, eventually going all the way back to the exhibition centre.
Traffic leaving Smokey an absolute nightmare at only 4pm - took an hour to get from ExCel to the Blackwall tunnel (5 miles if that).

Most of today has been spent complaining about yesterday. Although I did invent a song about a kitten hugging your foot to the tune of Deutchland Uber Alles:
Have your foot hugged by a pussycat,
Stick a tiddles on your toes...

Most of my actual work today comprised of keying in new leads from yesterday, chasing overdue leads and analysis of the Seminar Attendance Sheets from this year's show - hardly the most exciting aspects of my job. The lunchtime conversation with Bossbabies Nanny and the Cleaner (Nanny's Mum) about Vaginal Tearing. Whee!

The History Matters bods want me to say how History has affected my day, which is a little like asking me how Politics affects my day - it's too intrinsic to pin down! Although tomorrow is an important day in my own personal history - it'll be 8 years to the day since my 1st Impro Group at UKCD, where I met many of my best friends and the man who would eventually become Hubbily-Hoo. And I shook my head in despair at a flyer that claimed the inventor of a certain product was 'skilled in the art of alchemy' and was able to tell my Boss that Isaac Newton was also a keen 'alchemist', played with too much Mercury and went potty (apparently he was A Gay as well!). And the Cathederal bells were one of the many things that woke me up this morning, which I suppose is fairly Historic. The first thing that woke me up this morning was the usual Idiot's Parade of students at half 2, incapable as ever of walking home from a nightclub without screaming vaguely agressive inanities, which I suppose is as much a part of Canterbury's history as its Cathederal.

So I thought I'd end on current affairs, since today's is a special post...

Has anybody else heard about this kerfuffle over a BA (I think it's BA) stewardess sacked because she refused to hide a cross necklace from view? I worry about the escallation of silliness over causing Religious Offense usually but I can't see how anybody in their right minds would object so much to a small piece of jewellery to warrant sacking. Apparently they have the same policy on all visible jewellery, no matter what the meaning is to the wearer - does this include stuff like wedding rings, I wonder? I would certainly refuse to remove mine for anything other than hygeine reasons - even then I wouldn't be happy, since I never take it off. When I was in 12th Night since Fabian was obviously not married, I put a sticking plaster on over it, which didn't show from the stage.

And this story always seems to get linked to the Veil Thing, which I've got mixed opinions about - I personally think Jack Straw was needlessly picking away at the Muslim/Non Muslim divide by asking his consituants to Unveil - 'it bothers other people who don't understand it' is never, and never has been a relevant reason to stop doing anything. People tried to stop me doing/wearing oddball things that I wanted to when I was younger, and it's like a red rag to a bull. I merely thought it was all the more reason for me to do/wear it, since the terminally ignorant and 'bothered' would learn nothing until they were forced to face it. They never did of course, but it was never going to stop me. However, if you have somebody wearing clothing that impediments their job, especially if that job is giving kids with learning problems extra communication, it's very unfair to expect those you're paid to help to put in the extra effort to overcome how you have impedimented yourself.

And I just want to finish with the fact that I have come to the conclusion that the Dairylea Dunkers advert is pure evil. School Run Mum. In Urban 4x4. With one whiney kid who's old enough by far to have got a bus home in the back. Already you'd have to show Hitler raping a puppy to get a much more loathsome image. But no, it goes on. 'Muuuu-hu-hummm,' whines the Middle Class arsewit, 'I'm huuuuunnnngry...'
Now if School Run Mum were me, I'd have left him in the woods for the wolves to get long ago. If she were my own Ma, she'd have come out with the line she always used to give me and Sis if we ever asked for a snack/pudding - 'There's plenty of fruit in the fruitbowl'. But no, the waste of DNA need not fear eating something natural, for the plasticine cows are here to help Captain Whiney! In they parachute, leaving him with a pre-packed plastic pot of cheesy goo and the smug knowledge that whingeing will get him whatever he wants.
Two words, kiddo: National Service!
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So the weekend was spent with Mummy and her hubs, who came, saw, did the gardening and cooked a Sunday Roast. I *did* help with the Roast, though!

We had a nice tea in a Spider Infested ASK (in which a couple were having a very noisy and sweary argument - keep it to yourself, children!) and re-introduced them to The Goodies, which they really enjoyed. Apparently my Nana really liked The Goodies too. Go Nana! I don't think Mum can ever get out of Mum Mode with us, though - in Sainsburys there was some girl, probably my age, pushing past us the other way with her trolley - so mum pulls me into her and says 'mind the Lady, darling.' As much as I love my Mum I could have lamped her for that. To tell a 10 year old that is one thing, but to do so to a 26 year old woman made me look like I had to be mentally handicapped or something.

Then a day on the trains yesterday - literally all day! Went to Harrogate and back for work. Was only actually in Harrogate for 2 hours, but I was out from 8am to 10pm traveling there & back. I read around 1/3 of Day Of The Triffids and used up the entirity of my iPod battery. Talked to a nice Scottish man on the London-York Train (not like that though - he was about 60! He reminded me of my Dad.) He noticed my book and 'Airstrip One' badge and so we spent a while talking about Paranoid SciFi Novels and The State Of The World In General. I was impressed that somebody had struck up a conversation with me on public transport and was not a, a letch, b, a raving lunatic, c, both.

Harrogate's very pretty, BTW. What I saw of it, at least. Lots of Posh clothes shops, I noticed, and a Computer Games shop with a lifesize model of the Prince Of Persia (Grrrr). And I was treated to a really beautiful sunset as I whizzed between Grantham and London.

Last Lost tonight - whee! My subconcious decided to end the series for me last night, which was good fun. An enormous bridge to a Mainland just rose up out of the water and they all ran across it. Walt was in a house on the Mainland with the other kids that were taken. They were being looked after by a nice old lady. Riiiiight. Locke stayed though, he decided he preferred Island life. So there you go.
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Hello, I am, in fact, still alive. Thanks to Ian for checking on my 'is she alive or is she dead?' status yesterday.

Have merely been working like a beeatch on the Allergy Show, which was this weekend - only actually stayed in Smokey the one night - was glad to commute after I saw the state of my room! So tomorrow I get to wake up after 7 o'Clock for the first time in days! Still have to work a full office week but at least I won't be on my feet - they feel like they've worn down to the stumps!

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The show got a plug on p3 of the Daily Mail today - part of the article on the big cloud of pollen coming over from Denmark (Headline? 'The Yellow Peril', for fuck's sake!)

Sure twas a PR coup, but... eurgh. Daily Mail?

I feel dirty.
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Well, I reckon I did the best I could today. I didn't really need any help and I did two property adfeatures, two wine & dines and downloaded and edited the edit for September's Woman feature. Unfortunately the woman that is supposed to be the one hiring me was barely in the office because she was getting the Seasons mag finished so she wasn't there to see me being all confident and chipper, but hopefully the other guy on the team'll give a good report. And it might be a good thing that she felt I didn't need that much support. Even if I don't get it, it means I've got another day's work experience and another five editorial pieces under my belt. And I had loads of fun! No teabreaks and only half an hour to get some grub (my choice - wanted to look enthusiastic and hardworking and all!) but the day absolutely flew by.

Latest "Lost" theory - They've run out of ideas! Last night was a bit rubbish, what with the band blatantly based on Oasis, and getting Dominic Mernerner to run around a forest in a hood looking all scared is a bit silly considering he was in that little known arthouse New Zealand film where he spends hour after hour doing exctly the same thing. Still determinned to see it through, though...

Word de jour - Quintisential
Tell me What's Ur Flava - Nacho cheese
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Well, tomorrow's the big day... pretty nervous.

Bit of a shitty day today - heaps of stuff to sell, and precious little help. Lots of flirting with dirty old men to get them to buy adverts. And keep getting pimps/manwhores attempting to chat me up. For the last time, I'm married, and even if I wasn't, I certainly wouldn't pay for it! Feel a bit dirty. Ho hum, hopefully won't be this way forever. Also had my psychic customer call up. He is yet to get anything right, but he's a hilarious Glaswegian who just cannae shut up.

Got my trailer from Sealgirl today though. Hooray! Watched it about 5 times already today... making me want to go back to the Grand Project again. Woo!

Word De Jour... indupetably.
Tell me What's Ur Flava... creme caramel
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So my second interview has been pushed back to Thursday. Gah! Still well nervous - I HAVE to get out of my current job. It's such a big pile of wank.

Still - as from tomorrow, I can drink again! Yippee!
It's been a really tough week. A year or so I wouldn't have thought I'd be capable or going eight nights without alcohol, but I've nearly done it. There is a lovely cold can of cider waiting for the weekend. Plus one of my customers has got me a bottle of Mead! Ye-haw!

No time to scribble tonight due to the pooting curfew, but the Alt Eppie (which actually has turned into alternative versions of two episodes instead of one and which, after long deliberation, I have decided to call Life Is Beautiful) has but a few more scenes in which to tie up loose ends and should be completed over the weekend. People are chomping at the bit for another installment of the Tomb Raider story, so I want to get the next chapter started too.
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First the worst
Second the best
Third the man with the hairy chest
Fourth the Golden Eagle...

How the hell does the rest of that go? I'm sure it covered more than the first four positions.

Morrison's is shut this week for a refurb so I had to go to Mingin Iceland for lunch today. The sign on the side said 'Food you can trust'. Surely that should be taken as a given. It's like having a big sign in a restaurant saying 'our Plat du Jour won't give you E-Coli'. Doesn't fill you with confidence.
I have to say, I don't usually have a distrust of food. Let's face it, I'm going to do it a fair bit more harm than it's going to do me - but I do have to admit that I was giving my egg sarnie some pretty suspicious glances after reading that sign

Had a very good day today - very productive, advertisers kept buying stuff off me for a change. Slightly marred by wasting 15 minutes with a proper pikey customer who was so stupid he could barely converse in monosylabic grunts, had no idea what he wanted to advertise and made me wait in reception (after he'd come in to see me, mind) for 5 minutes while he had a personal mobile phone call with some girl who talked so loud I could hear every word she said.

Was cheered by a typically Over The Top Middle Class Canterburyite reaction to a city pub wanting to extend its opening hours til 12.30 - 'People will be vomiting over the birthplace of Christianity!' No love, people are currently murdering one another in the actual birthplace of Christianity - just like they were when The Big J was teaching/being murdered there. What will happen is that the people who currently scream idioticly at one another in the car park at 11pm will be screaming idioticly at each other in the car park at 1am... oh wait. They already do.
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Editor in Chief just called me re job to let me know I'm through to a shortlist of three!

I've got a day's work experience in which to prove myself in a week or two!

Happy now - and off to get stinking drunk. Hubby under orders to bring me home in time for Lost, though.



Aug. 20th, 2005 12:43 pm
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I'm really rubbish at working out how interviews went - nothing stumped me, and I was able to talk about key demographics and feature ideas, but don't know whether they'll think I'm too sales minded/young/inexperienced. Pissed off at having to wait. Got quite drunk and emotional last night. I have Ian down this weekend - we're just off to get some eats!

Still - I'm on holiday now - woo!
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Ah, the wonders of Nytol. Sleep was not forthcoming last night (it seldom is on a Sunday - too much lazing about!) So I had to spend the first two hours of work today with a Nytol Hangover. Very very odd thing - you're heart's still beating really slowly, so you're terribly relaxed about everything.

Also, The Woman Who Never Shut Up has been put on our team, which doesn't help. She won't shut up! Plus she smells of Drinking, which isn't usually a bad thing, but at 9.30 am aint a great sign.

No comedy observations today, so have a joke:
This is best read aloud, and Rastafarians can be used instead of Scousers, but my Jamaican accent is shocking.

A man is throwing a fancy dress party. He's a bit of a highbrow nobber, so he insists that all of his guests come dressed as emotions - jealousy, happiness, etc. Suddenly there's a knock at the door. Mr Highbrow opens the door to see two Scousers with a six-pack and a couple of optimistic smiles.
"Hiya," says Scouser no.1, "We noticed you was 'avin a party, like, and we wondered if we could join."
Mr Highbrow would rather not let these two reprobates into his house, but doesn't really want to just say 'no' to their faces. However, he reckoned, the dress code would bound to have them so stumped that they wouldn't bother...
"Sure," concedes Mr Highbrow, "But there's a dress code. You have to both come as emotions."
The Scousers both furrow their brows in thought.
"Oh," says Scouser no.1, at which both turn and walk away.
Mr Highbrow shrugs of the attempted Crashing, and gets back to enjoying his pretentious emotion themed party. An hour later, there is another knock at the door, which Mr Highbrow opens, only to see the two Scousers stark bollock naked. Scouser no.1 has his member placed in a bowl of trifle, while his friend seems to have his penis inserted into a hollowed-out pear.
"What the fuck...?" gasps Mr Highbrow. "I said you had to come as emotions. What the Hell are you doing?"
Scouser no.1 grins at Mr Highbrow.
"Well my friend here is deep in dis pear, and I am fuckin' dis custard."

Hubby is going out soon, so I shall have muchos scribbling time. Was toying around with an idea for a story at the gym that might interest Sealgirl, but I really must finish the things I've started first! After a long ideas session with Hubby realised that a lot of work needs doing to Chappy 9 or it's going to end up going nowhere...
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This was all Bacon Roll's idea. We were sharing pointless musings, as we were wont to do, and he says: 'You should do some blogging'. That was about a month ago, but last night I drunkenly decided that that was A Thing I Wanted To Do. So I did what I usually do in a situation where I want to do something internetty but don't know where to start, which is to follow Sealgirl's trail (it's how I found fanfiction, and so far that's been A Good Idea) so here I am.

My intention here is to witter about utterly meaningless and odd things that amuse me.

I meant to do my first post last night, too, since I had some mad dreams I wanted to talk about (basically, first of all, Husband was going to run off with my student housemate Meg - Bad thing - then I was having sex with Ed from Northern Exposure - Good Thing) but it was late when I got in, since I'd been to Wagamama's with Hedgehog and her bird (and we all sing: We're going to Wagamama's out all night...) Twas good fun, a drunken Scrabble match was briefly on the cards, then cancelled because it was a School Night. God, I'm so old! I was very excited though, because on the table behind us in the post-noodle pub was Lisa from Eastenders. And we thought we saw June Whitfield too, but then it turned out not to be her.

Some other things that have surprised me this week:

1, There appears to be no Graeme Garden Appreciation Society. I couldn't find one, anyway. There should be. He's a Comedy God. I joined The Goodies fan Club, instead.

2, Two tramps kissing a painting of an angel on a mural on the underpass next to the cinema.

3, Most of Lost.

4, Chocolate and Wasabi go together really well.

5, I've got an interview! It's still at the same place that I work, but I wouldn't be doing my horrible, soul destroying job any more! Yippee! *crosses fingers, holds breath til next Friday*

6, Jim Broadbent is, apparently, terrible on the phone. This isn't really much of a surprise, but it's interesting to know.

Other things this week have surprised me, too, but these are the ones I can think of right now. My writing's in a bit of a hiatus at present - I need to have a good think about what exactly I want to do with D&D ep 9, and i have to finish The Lost!

Last night my dream was horrible - I'd been in a Nuclear explosion. Too much Hiroshima/London Bombing stuff on TV, I reackon...

I've got to go and see some performance art now (Hubby's friends).... Rabbitrabbitrabbitrabbit!!!

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