Dear Mother Nature: You're a Bitch. Yrs Trly, Scribbles.

No real time to thank you all for your replies - madam still likes to eat, poo and cuddle all night as opposed to sleeping in her basket so I seriously overslept today (my mum is down and takes over come morning so we can get a lie-in). Right now she's awake but cuddling, looking up at me with her big old froggy eyes.

So the first tale commences... ( Not called 'Labour' for nowt )