(no subject)

Oh man. I thought the DaddyDeath dreams were done & dusted. This morning (and I know it was this morning because I had previously been awoken by a terminally broken toilet refusing to cease flushage) my brain gave me a real doozy. Absolutely horrible. I was in a house that was already haunted by a poltergeist (the aforementionned Bad Haunted Dream House, for I have two) and some people were having a seance for it, although I just wanted to leave. Then this woman running the seance started asking me all these questions and I knew she had to be in contact with my dad. She handed me a telephone, and he was speaking on the other side of it, but really struggling with his words as if it was a real effort to speak. Then for a while he was there with me physically. I was sobbing, telling him that I loved him and I missed him, asking if he was OK. He said no, he wasn't. He didn't know what was happening but he hated it. He was really confused and upset. I told him he was dead, which he said made sense, but he still didn't understand why. He was still sure that everyone was ganging up against him. I asked him if he'd spoken to sis, and he said no, I was the first, but he wanted to speak to mum. I told him that he shouldn't, he should speak to sis & Uncle John, because they might like to hear from him too. That's all I remember, but it was freaking me out all morning. He's always so scared and disorientated when I dream about him. I think it's that I don't feel like he could cope with being dead on his own. I think a lot of it is guilt on my part.

Anyway, it sucks.

On a brighter note, now completed the 1st 1/2 of my notice. Only 7 working days to go! Had to put up with a lot of shit today from lazy, uncommunative Field Sales Reps & managers who honestly think tollring is an important indicator of effectiveness (it's quality, not quantity - this ain't a callcentre, people! Or is it...?) So I'm just SO GLAD to be getting out right now.