Better than a kick in the knickers with a winklepicker

Oooh dear. Silly self. Posting while under the influence is not a good idea. I couldn't even write straight, and that was 4 hours after I'd stopped drinking! At least I didn't really have a hangover. God knows what I was talking about on Saturday though. All sorts of bollocks, knowing me. It was wicked fun, though.

We were going to watch a Paul Newman film last night in honour of the great man, but we ran out of time. Hubs is currently addicted to Star Wars: Force Unleashed anyway, and I like watching him play it (I've tried playing it myself, but I keep getting killed like a Spazz. Also, it has too many Bosses in it. I can never kill Bosses.)

More Rollercoaster for you! I've pretty much finished all of 'There's No Place Like Home', but most of it is over with the lovely realmlife for Betaing. It's set during 'Legacy' so it's a long one, and is therefore split into three chapters, by Jove. Here's chapter one.
( There's No Place Like Home, Part 1 )

Babe is still Under The Weather. I suspect new teeth, although I haven't been able to feel any yet. That or a cold, since she's very chesty today.

Ye Gods, they really should put an upper age limit on the Playgym! It was rammed today, with lots of kids who were much too old for it since it's 1/2 Term. Not talking Old Old, but 5, 6 & 7 year olds trying to play with equipment set up for toddlers and understandably getting bored and just pegging it around. Not the best idea when there's loads of crawling and wobbly-walking babies about. The Bully was there too. The Bully (and his Mum) piss the crap out of me. No idea what his name is, but he's about two and he's a proper little thug, and on the very rare occasions that his mum is actually within sight of him when he starts being aggressive towards littler kids she still doesn't intervene. I *should* know this kid's name, because he's always at S&S and playgym being a thug, so I *should* hear cries of "Insert-name-here, stop doing that", "play gently, Whatisyourname" and so forth every couple of seconds. I've seen this kid trip other kids up, snatch what they're playing with, push them, hit them, reduce them to crying fits and Mum does absolutely fuck all. Just waits for the bullied kid's parents to remove them from the situation. I've had to tell him off for trying to hit Vivi in the past, which mortified me, but his Mum was nowhere in sight at the time. Anyway, Vi was having a whale of a time running around with a shuttlecock in each hand this morning, the bully decided he was going to snatch them but Vi, bless her to smithereens, thought it was a game! She can properly run now - outrun him, anyway, so she'd wander close to him, staring at him, he'd try to grab her shuttlecocks, she'd turn around and peg it away from him, he'd give up then she'd go back. It. Was. Brilliant.

It's Friday, thank Crunchie, so a chilled night with some pear cider for me (they sell it in 4-pack cans these days! JOY!)

Oh, and Hubs very kindly emailed a screencap from our childhoods that gave us both the fear summat rotten. Anybody remember a character called Noseybonk on Take Hart/Hartbeat?



Absolutely knicker-shitting fucking terrifying. He looks like a Droog. I can picture him battering a woman to death with a dildo while humming 'Ode To Joy' to himself. All that Art loving kids these days have to put up with is their televisual heroes scooting off to hang themselves in train stations. We had Neil Buchanan's mullet and this crap to contend with! It's a wonder we're not all completely warped.

Bloody typical. I'm finally happy enough with Harmonica to bite the bullet and post it, and ff.net decides to run slower than a snail on dope going up a steep hill.

On the plus side though, I'm drinking a lovely cold bottle of pear cider. Yum!

Oh Jeebus. I'm going to be 28 in, like, an hour. I'm so OLD!

I am also ridiculously tired, having been woken up at half 4 by a hungry babe, then having to get up again at 8 and walk a couple of miles up a hill to the doctor's, then back down again in the fecking snow.

In better news, Mummy made it down fine and has bought me a gorgeous skirt from Monsoon in the sale as a prezzie. ( the pretty ) Then I made my tasty chicken and celery casserole for tea and won the Trivial Pursuit. Hubs is getting us all a takeaway from The Kashmir tomorrow. Lamb Dhansak and Tarka Daal. Yum!

I am too tired to be drinking, really, but there you go. Birthday privileges. I'm old, so fuck off!

What a weekend!

Yes, Friday was spent Sans l'Homme et Bebe in Brighton. Was fun but knackering and I missed Hubs & Vi like Hell.

Things I learned on Friday:

Bingo really makes the time fly by even though it's full of really depressing looking people and stinks of fag ash.

Mika looks a bit like Stephen Mangan.

Mama Cherrie's is absolutely delicious but impossible to find.

Going out in a little summer dress might seem like a good idea at 7pm on a balmy late April evening but it makes the midnight walk back along the sea front bloody nippy.

Singing 'My Lovely Horse' at the top of your voice makes the long, cold walk feel much better.

You need no late night entertainment when you end up in a bar with a group of 50 somethings all Dad Dancing.

A seafront B&B might seem like a nice idea when you check in, but when it's a major thoroughfare and has two late night bars and a takeaway beneath it you might not get a great night's sleep.

So after a few hours sleep I bid Claire's hens adieu and, miraculously un-hungover, went back to Canters to see my little family and also Anna & Russell and Ian Harv & Sadie who had come down to visit. Plus Jools & Sylv in the evening. Good fun but bloody hectic. We were both abolutely knackered by the time everybody left. Vi slept straight for over 10 hours - very quietly as well, which did mean that I kept waking up in a panic, used to snuffling, shuffling, blanket kicking etc, and checking she was OK.

Husband has now taken his turn to abandon the homestead (he's going up to a film course in Brum) so I have pootled around a rather lovely French market and really had my back put up by some old bag who started complaining that Vi's sunhat was flopping over her eyes.

BAG: She's dissapearing under her hat.
ME: *tight 'thankyou for stating the bleedin' obvious, now please fuck off' smile*
BAG: (in a pleading tone) she can't see.
ME: It keeps the sun out of her eyes.
BAG: She's not in the sun.

There is not a cloud in the sky today, and this was at lunchtime - really bloody bright. I had happened to stop in the shade of a market stall and - shock horror - hadn't woken Vi to remove her sunhat or push up the brim. Ooooh, call Social Services! BAG then must have finally read my irritated expression at her vague insinuations that putting a 3 month old baby in a wide brimmed cotton sunhat on a hot, bright day was somehow cruel, since she made a little jokey comment about Vi wanting to see what she could buy and scurried off. Seriously - why do total strangers feel the need to be so fucking intrusive? Why couldn't she just tell the truth - that she wanted to gawp at my pretty wee tyke but there was a big floppy hat in the way? guh.

So my second interview has been pushed back to Thursday. Gah! Still well nervous - I HAVE to get out of my current job. It's such a big pile of wank.

Still - as from tomorrow, I can drink again! Yippee!
It's been a really tough week. A year or so I wouldn't have thought I'd be capable or going eight nights without alcohol, but I've nearly done it. There is a lovely cold can of cider waiting for the weekend. Plus one of my customers has got me a bottle of Mead! Ye-haw!

No time to scribble tonight due to the pooting curfew, but the Alt Eppie (which actually has turned into alternative versions of two episodes instead of one and which, after long deliberation, I have decided to call Life Is Beautiful) has but a few more scenes in which to tie up loose ends and should be completed over the weekend. People are chomping at the bit for another installment of the Tomb Raider story, so I want to get the next chapter started too.

Editor in Chief just called me re job to let me know I'm through to a shortlist of three!

I've got a day's work experience in which to prove myself in a week or two!

Happy now - and off to get stinking drunk. Hubby under orders to bring me home in time for Lost, though.

YAYYYYY!!!!