A Very Vanky Valentine...

Because, so far, I've spent Valentine's day writing nasty Veric filth:

TO A GOLDEN HAIRED PRETTYBOY ON THIS VERY SPECIAL DAY -

Each time I see you laugh and toss your tousled golden mane
I think of how I'd like you in my evil clutch again.
Oh how I'd smile at every scream, your tears would be in vain -
I'd keep you well, my precious, shackled to a ten foot chain.

What fun we'd have, my little friend, upon this very night
Were I to, say, abduct you now and whisk you out of sight
And hold your hands to mine as we flew under pale starlight
And have you drugged and manacled as I took off your tights.

And so I ask with trembling heart for you, my sweet, to tell,
Could please be my Valentine and make me feel just swell?
My love for you could rock the very founding stones of Hell
And if I've enough Vaseline, I'll Do your friend as well.

Be Mine.
Or I will destroy you.

Love and kisses,
??????

Well I never!

Turns out it wasn't poo on Vi's babygro after all - Hubs spilt Weetabix on her this morning.

Blah blah blah...

1, Hello, Rhi! *Waves* D&DC people, this is Erstatz off of Helix. She's a Welshie!

2, What do we think of 'Masturbate while I beat you' as a come-on line?

Sue dolls

( Shakespeare & Fish )