Another open letter

Dear Anonymous Dog Walker

I feel your pain. Really, I do. It must be just awful owning a dog and yet being simply too precious and important to pick up after it. I can only assume that this is why, when your mutt laid a giant bum-egg right in the middle of my doorway this morning you weren't able to get rid of it. How terrible for you to be so incapacitated by your pet's shit that you can't even remove it from front step of a complete stranger, so completely in the way of said stranger's pathway into and out of her home that she must carefully navigate her baby's buggy around it and lean over it in order to lock and unlock the door.

I can't tell you how delighted I was to face a change from cleaning up my baby's poo and handle your mystery pooch's giant, mystery poo instead so that I can leave my house this afternoon without falling into the supersized turd.

I hope that your house gets pelted with manure tonight.

In fact, no, I hope that Sir Poopsalot goes crazy, rips your face off and then leaps into a nearby sewage works, taking your faceless, twitching body with it.

Muchos Gracias,

Scriblit xxx

Animation

Thankyou for my icon, Sealy!

Colin is so totally Bipolar, and now I have an icon to express the mental illness of a fictional character! Woo!