Crucial Issues In A Modern World

Is Empire Online the world's shittest, slowest, most annoying website?

Is "Sinking into the enormous king-sized bed in his room at the Luxor casino and hotel, he gave fervent thanks for Colin's inherent tightness" the best opening sentence of a chapter you've ever heard? (and it's not what you're all thinking - Beth, you're a genius!)

Is Ted Dansin'?

Was I right in getting loudly Passive Aggressive with the M&S Hags who entirely blocked the doorway shaking off their brollies while they could see me trying to get in and getting drenched in the process? (I loudly said to Vi 'Oh for the love of God, we'll just stand here and soak, shall we?' while stomping over to the other set of doors. Hubs said I should have just barged through since 'there's nothing worse than passive Aggression')

What does the sun look like, again? I have not a clue, it's been dark grey (occasionally, worryingly actually dark green. No Alien invasion yet... that I know of...) and pissing down all day. My hair is still wet and everything. It is June and we're all wearing jumpers. What is all that about, eh?

Any answers to any of these, please do let me know.