Today's Tweet-Dribbles

140 character brain-splurts of the day...

• 13:02 At some point today, Vi will eat something that isn't a plain carbohydrate. Just wanted pitta bread for lunch. That child. #
• 13:04 I'm like the old woman who lived in a shoe, expect instead of children I have so many Carpet Rice Krispies I don't know what to do. #
• 13:06 I meant 'except' there, not 'expect'. My typing is still bloody spazzed up. #
• 13:39 Happy Pretending To Be Irish Day, everybody! Unless you are actually Irish, in which case, Happy Being Actually Irish Day instead. #
• 17:39 Laughing at concept of one person attempting to be all of ELO on Stars In Their Eyes. Thanks, Hubs. #

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She die like woman in 'English Patient'! Long, slow, boring death!

I saw an ad on the telly last night as I was watching Heston Wossface making pretend bangers and mash out of rice pudding, and waiting for the sublime Mad Men to start, for one of those crappity Sleb Magazines with 'a special souvenier publication chronicling the amazing life Jade led.'

'Oh,' I thought, vaguely, 'has she finally kicked the bucket, then?' But she's not even dead yet! They're bringing out obituaries for her and she's still alive! She's like that old man with the plague in Monty Python & The Holy Grail. Either that, or she did finally conk out last night and the family have requested a media blackout on it for a few days so that they can have a little privacy. Because that's so very likely to happen. I almost want someone much more famous than her to unexpectedly drop dead on the same day just for the irony of the drawn out, undignified, lurid death of a comedy racist game show contestant with a criminally violent husband to be pushed from the front pages by somebody who's actually done something to earn their notoriety. Or a member of the Royal family. Either will do.

And before anyone shrieks 'RRRAARRRR!!! THIMK OFF THA KIDDY'S!!!' at me, I am. When I lost my Dad I wanted to be alone. I didn't particularly want to share my grief with anybody but my closest family. Why should those kids have to watch their Mum's death splashed absofuckinglutely everywhere, and be forced to 'share' their loss with a load of losers who didn't even know her? I always felt the same for Diana's sons, especially at her funeral. 'Why are *you* lot weeping and wailing and stretching your arms out to these children? She was their mother, let them deal with how they want.'