Telly all be crazy.

I caught a little bit of Britain's Got 'Talent' tonight - I mean, I know I don't watch much telly these days, but is it me, or has TV recently gone completely surreal? The Semi Final lineup appeared to include a toothless zombie, an obese prostitute/Dawn French playing Madonna (couldn't quite tell), the ubiquitous Mad Woman and her Yappy Type Dog, an elderly paedophile with his child bride and Mowgli. Seriously, what the who and the where and the why?

Also, at some point since Byker Grove, Ant McPartlin has been replaced, Stepford Stylee, with a robot. He looked as though he were covered in a thin plastic sheen, or was fabricated out of Lego.

Instead, I watched something about people with Tourettes. A teenaged lad walking down the street screaming 'Chicken fucker' was actually less weird because at least he had a reason why he was doing it.