It's about bloody Twitter *again*.

I've sort-of been on Twitter Fire lately. There was last night's Sleb Flirtation Of Prime Win, and I had a little cheeky to-and-fro with News Crumpet Krishnan Guru-Murthy this morning regarding photoshopped meteor storm pictures this morning, which was nice.

And then there's my jokes, which take up the majority of my non-direct Tweets, and have been better than usual lately. So much so that violet_creme has requested I post them here as well and 'not let them die on Twitter'. For what they're worth... *clears throat at microphone*

Ironic Deaths:

If Dick Van Dyke were run over by a truck delivering dildoes, driven by a lesbian #ironicdeaths

If Minnie Driver were out for a walk, and was crashed into by Christopher Walken, driving a mini. #ironicdeaths

If a Celebrity Masterchef incident resulted in Stephen Fry being boiled & Frankie Boyle being fried. #ironicdeaths

If Richard Dawkins was Clotheslined face-down into a Font by Vishnu and Thor #ironicdeaths

And then, another TV Show idea:

#ideaforsaturdaynightshow Strictly Cum Dansen. Celebs battle to arouse Ted Dansen to the point of orgasm & are judged on technique & flair

*sigh* see, they don't seem so funny when I build them up first. Hey-ho. This is the sort of thing I amuse myself with these days.