Better than a kick in the knickers with a winklepicker

I have had such a lovely weekend!

Got all the chores done pretty much first thing, and have managed to see two lots of friends, have a BBQ and a Sunday Roast. And a Dark Bounty milkshake :)

The birthday Bratwurst fest (codename: It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Wurst Of Times) was, as I mentioned slightly frantically last night, full of meaty, mustardy, international wonderment. Violet made lots of friends, tried cashews (which she loved) Toblerone (ditto) Pretzels (which she thought she liked, then decided she didn't), lots of salady things and BBQ'd courgette (which we had to refer to as 'Zucchini', otherwise Flo's bro and S-i-L didn't know what we were asking for) She gave some bratwurst a munch but wasn't impressed, but then she's not a meat fan. She was incredibly good and sat in a grown-up's garden chair at the table with us and our friends and happily picked at food from her plate like a big girl while we all ate. I was so proud! She spent a lot of time prodding a large marble ball in Flo's garden and shouting 'Ball!', as well as pointing at a ceramic chicken and shouting 'duck!' - close, but no cigar, kid. As I said, alas, her in-car Power Nap on the way back meant that she was up stupidly late last night. we finally got her down at quarter to 11, after a very long struggle which knackered us out so much that we fell into bed shortly after she did.

Today, our friends Anna & Russ came round, and I took the excuse to cook a proper Sunday Roast. I'm getting really good at the gravy now - go me! I did this lot with drained chicken fat instead of butter too - tasty! Since Vi was poorly on Christmas day and our Easter dinner was in the evening this year it was the first time that Vi has ever sat down to a Roast Lunch with us before. As I expected, she wolfed down all her veg and not much else. She quite liked the parsnips and stuffing, though. Then a nice constitutional around the Cathedral grounds via the milkshake shop. Champion. We introduced Anna & Russ to the delights of Pocoyo - they were very impressed.

This all might sound mightily pedestrian to those of you who are still young and sexy, but due to the combined factors of all our Uni chums moving away and the sproglet, we really don't get to see our friends much these days, and it's an immense treat for us to see one group of friends, let alone two, and to eat, drink and be merry with them. It's also started to get to the point where Vi is able to interact with adults as a child would rather than a baby, which I actually find really very exciting.

Oh. And I have found some lovely Blackadder icons. *Pointy*

Happy Birthday PIC!

We have come back from a Hubs' Birthday/Father's day weekend away, and Hubs is off today as well. Good fun was had, an aquarium was visited, a funfair was frequented, 'Witness' was watched (Me: Tits! Amish Tits!), a BBQ was noshed.

Was going to start that Photo Diary meme today, but the camera's knackered... think the batteries have run down again, and I can't be arsed to recharge them.

...your present made me cry just a little bit!

Oh, lovely fun in Smokey today... once we, and the rest of the party actually got there! Because this is Britain, huge chunks of our public transport system had to be closed down today, leaving Flo to travel from Margate to Faversham by bloody bus and everybody else to try to get to Covent Garden without the Victoria line. We had to squish like sardines onto the district & circle tube, then change to Northern, then change again at Leicester square. It was hot. And cramped. And stressy. Nobody ever seems to want to let people off the train before they get on, or move down the carriage once they're on, leaving everyone needlessly squished at the door. Bah. I am blaming Boris for all of this, and for the fact that London has made my face and hair really greasy today. Evidently, his oily Tory slime is oozing rampantly through the streets of our Captial, infecting all and sundry with its grease.

Still, a good time was indeed had in the pub talking about this, that, the other and what uses we might have for a 1,000,000 times life size model vagina (roof to the Wembley stadium, in case you were wondering) and Vi had a fun time at home with her aunt and uncle. Everyone's a winner!

More Next Generama... ( three... this one's a two-parter! )

Dear Mother Nature:

Please look up the term 'Temperate Climate'. Then kindly look up 'April'.

Got that?

Excellent.

Well, perhaps now you'd like to explain why it is that we came home to a thick blanket of snow this afternoon, and why it continued to snow for the rest of the day. It is APRIL! We left Canterbury on Friday night, when it was clear and sunny and so balmy that at gone 7pm I still didn't need a jacket. It has now turned to Midwinter, only Midwinter with blossoms and leaves on the trees, and flowers everywhere. Very bizzare.

Yes, so we had a fleeting visit to Cambridge this weekend, to see our friends Anna & Russ, who were as delightful and hospitable as always. They filled us with cheese and chocolate, and took us to a farm where we could all have a very cold ride on a wagon pulled by giant Shire Horses, point at the baby lambs (which must be very cold tonight) and where Vi could spend forever trying to pick up gravel and staring at the roosters. Violet also had fun pestering A&R's cat, chasing the poor creature around, delightedly crying 'Puss! Puss!' and throwing up twice on their carpets. Poor Anna & Russel. Much fun was had last night watching New Who ( spoilers ) as well as The Breakfast Club, which neither of us had ever seen before, which was cool apart from the silly ending (what was with all the sudden Coupling Up? And I thought that weird girl looked much better with scary eyeliner, black baggy clothes and trainers than after she'd been made-over. 'OMGSHE'SBEAUTIFULAFTERALL Movie Makeovers - blecch. And where did she get the clothes, hmm?) and Judd Nelson playing a teenager when he had GREY FRICKIN HAIR! Our comedy guestimates of his real age got increasingly older as the film wore on. We then watched the first half hour of the Buffy movie before we all gave up and went to beddy.

And we saw Ian & Sadie too, who only have 6 weeks to go til they're due - eee!

...And then we came back to the snow.

And a completely knackered freezer, for no apparent reason. Luckily we only had a tenner if that worth of food in there, and the stuff I wanted to use tonight was still useable, but hmm. Very odd!

Knackered.

And Narked.

Babe is Unwell.

Despite being bookended by several hours of stress on each side, the two hours of going out with friends last night was very enjoyable. We sat in a pretend Dickensian rooftop, which kept confusing me. We spent a lot of time trying to work out what various wooden objects mounted on the wall of Nando's actually were (our guesses - a giant's lint brush, two giant coasters, a toilet seat for people who want to improve their aim, a stoneage Madonna Bra and an enormous specimin jar) and pondered a poser set by Ian about the implications of Jeremy Beadle hypothetically donating his testicles for transplant surgery (Me: Is one smaller than the other? Ian: Yes, but they've raised a lot for charity.) Gained a birthday present and two birthday cards, only a month late!

Thank you for my Family Reunion Reviews, guys... Electra, I'd feign innocence and claim it could always be food poisoning, but let's face it, everybody knows what's up with Diana except, it seems, for the lady herself and the fella that contributed to it. I'll admit, I probably make her sick one too many times, in the name of comic effect, but seriously... when I was in her furry shoes a couple of years ago it really was that bad for me! No exaggeration, it was constant for about 6 weeks. I lost loads of weight!

As each Birthday approaches I get glummer and glummer :( Poot. It doesn't help that it's so close to New year, already a time of reflection over the past year. It just makes me even more aware of the passage of time, my steady march towards Middle Age and the many things I have yet to do with my life.

Still.

Spuddie came down today! I almost hardly never get to see that girl, and I got a whole day of her to myself! She claimed, in her usual brusk fashion to be 'useless with babies' and then proceeded to utterly charm the pants off Vi and be really helpful and engaging with her. Violet loved the buttons on her jumper and spent most of the afternoon trying to eat them. Walked all around Canters so that Spud could point at all the bits that have changed since she lived here. Had hot milkshakes. Maple Syrup. Mmm.

And Mummy's coming down tomorrow. Hopefully. In spite of her previous bad luck with train journeys to and from Canters, and against all logic she has decided to train it again tomorrow, which is, of course, when it has decided to snow. Probably only a couple of cm, not due to stick around for long, but this is Britain and as soon as the weather differs even slightly from being damply overcast everybody panics and the entire transport network collapses in a big quivering heap.

And Hubs started his new job today. I'm really not used to not having him around, and this job's so far away that he has to leave really early, doesn't get home til Vi's bathtime and crucially can't pop home for lunch. I think if I hadn't had Spud's visit to distract me it would have been a really, really long day. *Sigh*

Yes. A lovely, chilled evening with Dr Flo prior to his annual return to The Fatherland has been enjoyed. Involved a late dinner, a not-too-long ubiquitous discussion about Salman Rushdie, me pretending along with the boys to be shocked and horrified at Vince and Howard snogging on The Boosh but privately considering iconning possibilities and a festive airing of Blackadder's Christmas Carol. We're still watching it on Christmas Eve though, dammit!

ME: It's weird being financially dependant, takes a lot of getting used to.
FLO: Does he [Hubs] give you pocket money? Isn't that how it works?
ME: Yeah, whats the going rate...? Ten pounds for a blowjob?
HUBS: Which you still haven't paid me for.

Man's a comedy improv genius.

On katchuri's recommendation, I have bought 'Colours Are Brighter' - an album of kids songs by contemporary Indie Flavoured bands, such as Belle & Sebastian and Franz Ferdinand. Never mind Vi liking it, I love it! I can't even give you my favourite song, because I love them all. OK, maybe David Wainright's Feet... a cautionary tale by Half Man Half Biscuit (sounding like a cross between Vic Reeves and Ringo Starr, only better) about the perils of getting your Nan to buy you trainers that don't fit you just because they're the coolest brand.

Greaves was down this weekend, and we all had a jolly good time. He turns out to be one of those people who's secretly actually really good with kids - I'd forgotten he's got two nephews. He's also morphed into Actually A Very Good House Guest - the man who used to turn up at 1am demanding pasta, spend an hour in the bathroom and leave McDonalds wrappers in the middle of the living room floor now asks if it's all right to do stuff, asks if he can chip in with buying/preparing dinner and - get this, Greaves Fans - actually *waited* for us to start dinner! I know! I nearly fainted! We kicked around town a bit, watched some triffids (which Greaves poo-poohed), ate some brownies, played some Pursuit, and then I watched the boys play Black.

In other news, i am in a bit of a quandry. I saw these sleepsuits


in Next a couple of months ago when Vi had plenty of PJs. Even though they are the prettiest sleepsuits I've ever seen I didn't get them because she didn't need them. But now she does need some bigger PJs and not only are the PJs of prettiness no longer in the shop, I can't find any nice sleepsuits for 9-12 months ANYWHERE! They're all just pastel pink, pastel pink, pastel pink... I am so *sick* of pastel pink! So I might have to order them online, even though Next babyclothes are already quite pricey and they charge an extra £4 to deliver, which I'm loathed to pay on principle... *sigh*

Claire is coming tomorrow. She is bringing cake. Mmmm. Cake.

Hubby's off work for two and a half weeks! Eee! And we're going to Jools & Sylv's wedding tomorrow! And it's in Gibraltar! Alas, we've decided Violet's too little to go (where would you change a baby on an aeroplane, for starters?) so she's staying home and my mum and sis are coming to babysit. We're flying out tomorrow, the wedding's Friday and we're coming back Saturday... only one full day without seeing her, but still I'm going to miss that little munchkin like crazy.

Still, we're going to get to be us, with our friends, instead of Mum & Dad, and can eat, drink and make merry without worrying about being sober/awake enough to look after the baby for two nights.

Fiddle dee dee.