Today's Tweet-Dribbles

140 character brain-splurts of the day...

• 09:31 Aaarrgh! Rice Krispies EVERYWHERE! It's like 'Nam in here. #
• 13:26 What's the best excuse for not attending an event you ever heard? Someone once told a friend of mine 'I can't come, my cat's got AIDS'. #
• 14:10 As cool as the piccie of the TNG cast in Family Guy is, I do have to ask @wilw - Dude, Where's Your Beard? #
• 14:40 The kids at the Primary school round the corner are all in red today. Rather a lot of Arsenal fans, I notice. #
• 14:46 Before any Random follows me for mentioning Arsenal, must clarify that I hate football. Hate it. Boring as exercise, tedious to watch. Blah. #
• 18:23 Yes! Retweeted by Bob Llewellyn! How many more Slebs can I mildly impress? #
• 19:22 God, 'Blue Velvet' is such a fucking stupid song! #
• 22:01 My robopr0n probably makes no sense at all. Why am I so tired? Oh yes - the manic toddler and that whole pregnancy thing. #

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Gratuitous Nudity and my Web-Nemesis

I've unintentionally seen a lot of flashed flesh today. While walking home from the shops I was passed by a (male) jogger in the tiniest shorts imaginable. I mean, we're talking Kylie Minogue hotpants here. Weirdly, this was topped off by a thick sweater and a bobble hat. Maybe he just gets really hot legs when he runs. Anyway, some students shouted 'Who likes short shorts?' at him as they drove by. A well deserved heckle, I thought I was not in the mood to watch his hairy thighs wobbling past me. Buy some bloody jogging bottoms, man. The clue's in the name!

Second flashing was two chavvy teenagers walking down the road with their arses hanging out. Full arses, not just the 'LOL I iz 2 street 2 by a belt!!1!' builder's bum, so intentional in other words. Not a clue why. Hubs decided it was because they were both Gayists and wanted somebody to run up and sodomise them and then scamper away once more without so much as a how-do-you-do. Probably right.

Oh, and I've just discovered that (one of my many) e-Nemesis' is on bloody Twitter. Only because I was trawling through Graham Linehan's tweets for a particular one he'd done and noticed he'd replied to somebody whose online handle sounded familiar. This is the person some of you may remember from about a year back who made a largely failed attempt to 'Spork' (guh, hate using that bloody term) one of my stories. Oh yes, boys and girls, I really am that petty, and I hold grudges like you wouldn't fucking BELIEVE. The Old Testament God has got nothing on me when it comes to grudge-holding. Whenever her name comes up anywhere I check her profile to make sure that she still doesn't have any friends. She doesn't. Might have something to do with her being a humourless, anal-retentive twat. Who can say. And that's all I ever do to her. Scowl, click, check pitiful number of friends/followers, smirk. Oh, you don't want to get on the wrong side of me, my friends. I'll Passive-Aggressive you to death (which might take me a while, since it would make absolutely no impact on your life whatsoever). I am so supercool and awesome that it worries me, sometimes.