Minor Adventures in Facefuck Land
May. 2nd, 2009 08:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
r_scribblesFacebook, eh? It's a funny old thing, innit. I've been on there for, ooohh, about 2 years now, and I've still got a not-entirely-pleasant relationship with it. Maybe it's that the gelling of my OL presence and real life troubles me a bit... I know that I often blog about my life, and that several of my RL friends read this journal - not only that, but over the years I've spent geeking around OL I've made OL friends that have become RL mates.. it doesn't change the fact that I still feel that there's a comfortable schism between my existence online as a blogger and fanficcer and that of my day-to-day life, and that just isn't the case with FB. With LJ, FF.net, Twitter and various forums and whatnot, you arrive fresh, you speak with people who don't know any details about your real life save what you care to tell them, you bond over mutual passions, sense of humour and so on. And I love that. FB has always been the polar opposite to that. It's where people contact you because they know you, or have known you, in real life. FB to me is a useful tool for getting in touch with old friends, or staying in touch with good friends/rellies who you don't live close enough to any more for regular face-to-face contact. If it were just that, I'd be comfortable with it. But then come the Vague Aquaintences.
I've always had an issue with the way that a lot of people who friend me on FB are people who a, have never really spoken to me IRL and b, once I've accepted their request - usually more out of politeness than anything else - continue to ignore me OL. I know, I know, communication goes two ways, but the sad truth that I hate to admit is, I generally have no interest whatsoever in communicating with these people. They are very vague aquaintences, I have nothing in common with them save a tenuous family bond via several marriages, having worked with them for a few months 5 years ago or having gone to the same school as them 13 years ago. But they ask to be on my FList and I'm usually too polite to refuse.
Most of the time, these people either lose interest in FB or only appear on my FB feed (a blatant ripoff of Twitter!) every once in a blue moon, so my eyes tend to just skim past their updates as I scan for news about people I'm actually interested in. They don't bother me because they may as well not be there. But a handful are very, very difficult to ignore. These are the people who seem to live their lives entirely through FB - and the constant stream of mundane life updates (goin 2 shops now lol... bak frm shop didnt hav any sugar there tho ffs lol... etc) would be slightly easier to stomach if it weren't for the addition of the details about their sex lives. I was getting to the point where half of my FB Feed was filled with updates from generally jolly ugly people (not that it would be any more palatable if they were attractive, it would just conjure up slightly less gruesome mental images) oscillating wildly between 'X wants to know why are men all such fukin bastards ffs' and 'Y cant wait 2 snuggle wiv her sexxxy man 2nite!!!' The same person could be bemoaning their rotten luck in love and then banging on about their awesome lover within about half an hour.
Another weird thing about FB (and a big problem about it as far as I'm concerned) is the lack of the usual shield of anonymity that I'm used to on the internet. People are used to getting away with more on the internet than they would in RL because nobody knows who they are, and seem to forget that on FB that's not the case. It's so weird to me... it's a place where people gladly put up all their details and then merrily contact as many people as possible to let them know what complete and utter idiots they are. The average FB comment, esp in a forum or group, is generally only mildly more sophisticated, considered and well written than the average youtube comment, and at least on youtube people have the nous to stay anonymous.
This morning I checked my FB feed and saw that one of the handful of people who friended me despite the most tenuous of links, who has never actually spoken to me OL or IRL, who constantly bombards me with love life tedium and twinkly clip art shit, has joined a Racist group on FB. Occasionally people that I know join stupid groups or idiotic causes - usually complaining about immigrants and foreigns or advocating hanging for a multitude of different crimes while happily ignoring basic spelling and grammar - and I roll my eyes and move on. But for some reason, I got really pissed off this time. I was publicly affiliating myself with people who I don't really know, whose lives I don't care about, with whom I will never have anything in common with and whose opinions revolt me. The more that I learn about many of these people through FB the more I actively dislike them.
I had my first ever FB Cull. Only three people, who fit into the 'don't really know them, never contacted me and actually really annoying' category. But it felt so good. My feed is instantly freed from most of its bullshit and sparkly crap. It's making me want to do it again. I'm probably going to adopt a personal policy that anyone joining a group or supporting a cause that's bigoted and knee-jerk gets automatically dropped.
Oh, the power - the power at my fingertips!
And the dropped ones will not give a tiny shit. They won't even notice as their FList filled with people they don't really know drops from 315 to 314. They won't be offended. They won't even remember asking to friend me in the first place. Everyone's a winner!
But in the unlikely event that you have been unfriended on FB by lil ol' me, and you've come here in search of reasons why, I can tell you now. You're excrutiatingly annoying, you're an ignorant twat and your tedious life was ruining my internet. Now go away and learn to type.
I've always had an issue with the way that a lot of people who friend me on FB are people who a, have never really spoken to me IRL and b, once I've accepted their request - usually more out of politeness than anything else - continue to ignore me OL. I know, I know, communication goes two ways, but the sad truth that I hate to admit is, I generally have no interest whatsoever in communicating with these people. They are very vague aquaintences, I have nothing in common with them save a tenuous family bond via several marriages, having worked with them for a few months 5 years ago or having gone to the same school as them 13 years ago. But they ask to be on my FList and I'm usually too polite to refuse.
Most of the time, these people either lose interest in FB or only appear on my FB feed (a blatant ripoff of Twitter!) every once in a blue moon, so my eyes tend to just skim past their updates as I scan for news about people I'm actually interested in. They don't bother me because they may as well not be there. But a handful are very, very difficult to ignore. These are the people who seem to live their lives entirely through FB - and the constant stream of mundane life updates (goin 2 shops now lol... bak frm shop didnt hav any sugar there tho ffs lol... etc) would be slightly easier to stomach if it weren't for the addition of the details about their sex lives. I was getting to the point where half of my FB Feed was filled with updates from generally jolly ugly people (not that it would be any more palatable if they were attractive, it would just conjure up slightly less gruesome mental images) oscillating wildly between 'X wants to know why are men all such fukin bastards ffs' and 'Y cant wait 2 snuggle wiv her sexxxy man 2nite!!!' The same person could be bemoaning their rotten luck in love and then banging on about their awesome lover within about half an hour.
Another weird thing about FB (and a big problem about it as far as I'm concerned) is the lack of the usual shield of anonymity that I'm used to on the internet. People are used to getting away with more on the internet than they would in RL because nobody knows who they are, and seem to forget that on FB that's not the case. It's so weird to me... it's a place where people gladly put up all their details and then merrily contact as many people as possible to let them know what complete and utter idiots they are. The average FB comment, esp in a forum or group, is generally only mildly more sophisticated, considered and well written than the average youtube comment, and at least on youtube people have the nous to stay anonymous.
This morning I checked my FB feed and saw that one of the handful of people who friended me despite the most tenuous of links, who has never actually spoken to me OL or IRL, who constantly bombards me with love life tedium and twinkly clip art shit, has joined a Racist group on FB. Occasionally people that I know join stupid groups or idiotic causes - usually complaining about immigrants and foreigns or advocating hanging for a multitude of different crimes while happily ignoring basic spelling and grammar - and I roll my eyes and move on. But for some reason, I got really pissed off this time. I was publicly affiliating myself with people who I don't really know, whose lives I don't care about, with whom I will never have anything in common with and whose opinions revolt me. The more that I learn about many of these people through FB the more I actively dislike them.
I had my first ever FB Cull. Only three people, who fit into the 'don't really know them, never contacted me and actually really annoying' category. But it felt so good. My feed is instantly freed from most of its bullshit and sparkly crap. It's making me want to do it again. I'm probably going to adopt a personal policy that anyone joining a group or supporting a cause that's bigoted and knee-jerk gets automatically dropped.
Oh, the power - the power at my fingertips!
And the dropped ones will not give a tiny shit. They won't even notice as their FList filled with people they don't really know drops from 315 to 314. They won't be offended. They won't even remember asking to friend me in the first place. Everyone's a winner!
But in the unlikely event that you have been unfriended on FB by lil ol' me, and you've come here in search of reasons why, I can tell you now. You're excrutiatingly annoying, you're an ignorant twat and your tedious life was ruining my internet. Now go away and learn to type.
