Oh. For. Fuck's. Sake.
Jul. 9th, 2009 08:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
r_scribblesARGH!
'Every pregnancy is different', I thought.
'The second one tends to come out easier,' I thought.
'Everything else has been happening much earlier on with this pregnancy, so the birth probably will too', I thought.
'I've been having Braxton Hicks for ages, and really painful contractions for several evenings in a row - I must have dilated loads by now', I thought.
In fact, I was a little surprised to make it a week overdue so that I needed to go in for a membrane sweep today in the first place. But I thought, considering all the contractions I've been having, that they'd get it done and the rest would be history. Rerun would most likely be born tomorrow.
But, oh no. I forgot about my stupid fucking cervix, which is apparently so far back it's practically in fucking Narnia. This wilfully recluse part of my anatomy has given me a particularly nightmarish time with every smear test in my life (always fun when they have to crack open the extra-long speculum), refused to soften even a little for two attempted membrane sweeps with Vi, remained Fort Knox-like even after hours of inducement-drugged contractions, then shot open over a few hours meaning I was needing to push before the bloody midwives even believed I was really in labour.
And now I really fear that history will repeat itself. They're trying for another sweep on Sunday, but considering there was no chance today even after all the evenings of contractions I've had I'm not holding my breath. On Sunday they'll be booking me in for inducement - probably on Wednesday. I really, really, really don't want to be induced, but I have a horrible feeling that I will anyway.
So frustrated. So very frustrated that all the pain I'm going through every evening at the moment is for nothing. My stupid body gets pregnant at the drop of a hat, and then retains the bloody kid forever. It's like a fucking baby-sponge! Whaaaah!!!
'Every pregnancy is different', I thought.
'The second one tends to come out easier,' I thought.
'Everything else has been happening much earlier on with this pregnancy, so the birth probably will too', I thought.
'I've been having Braxton Hicks for ages, and really painful contractions for several evenings in a row - I must have dilated loads by now', I thought.
In fact, I was a little surprised to make it a week overdue so that I needed to go in for a membrane sweep today in the first place. But I thought, considering all the contractions I've been having, that they'd get it done and the rest would be history. Rerun would most likely be born tomorrow.
But, oh no. I forgot about my stupid fucking cervix, which is apparently so far back it's practically in fucking Narnia. This wilfully recluse part of my anatomy has given me a particularly nightmarish time with every smear test in my life (always fun when they have to crack open the extra-long speculum), refused to soften even a little for two attempted membrane sweeps with Vi, remained Fort Knox-like even after hours of inducement-drugged contractions, then shot open over a few hours meaning I was needing to push before the bloody midwives even believed I was really in labour.
And now I really fear that history will repeat itself. They're trying for another sweep on Sunday, but considering there was no chance today even after all the evenings of contractions I've had I'm not holding my breath. On Sunday they'll be booking me in for inducement - probably on Wednesday. I really, really, really don't want to be induced, but I have a horrible feeling that I will anyway.
So frustrated. So very frustrated that all the pain I'm going through every evening at the moment is for nothing. My stupid body gets pregnant at the drop of a hat, and then retains the bloody kid forever. It's like a fucking baby-sponge! Whaaaah!!!
